6 Ways to Get Spiritually Connected Again When You are SUCKING at it

what to do when you suck at spirituality

Have you ever felt like you were trying so hard to be a spiritual peep and connect with the divine, but it feels like you are desperately trying to answer a call on an iPod and the slider just won’t freakin’ move no matter how hard you rub?


Sometimes it’s just harder to connect with the divine. I think of it like you are in a massive fog and you can’t see or touch what you are looking for. It’s really annoying, and I think we all go through little phases of it. It could happen for a bunch of reasons – stress, doubt, lack of self belief, tiredness – but jeebus is it frustrating when you are trying to meditate, or pray, or ground, or just connect in with your soul and you just feel nothing, over and over again.

All our crap stopping us usually is in our brain, and to feel connection again we need to find a way bypass those barriers.

To do this we need to get physical! Why physical? Because physical stuff brings us into the present moment, be that touching a leaf, singing a song, or going for a jog. And the present moment is where Goddess resides.

So if you are going through a patch where you are feeling NOTHING from your practice or spiritual actions, here are some ideas to get you feeling again.

1. Crystals.

If you are a crystal person, or even just a little bit of a crystal person, break out your most powerful crystal and hold that sucker tight while you do your spiritual stuff. My go-to’s are a little Aqua Aura crystal that always feels tingly, an Angelite crystal that I use a lot when I feel like I need a hug, and this awesome black stone I found on the beach once upon a time. It’s my grounding stone and is literally the most powerful crystally object I have. And it was free!

2. Do It In The Bath

Weirdly, baths and showers are sometimes the BEST places to spiritually reconnect. I recently went through a period where the only time I could feel any spiritual vibes was in the bath, and I’ve heard this truth from other peeps too. So crank up that tap and try it in the bath.

3. Do Your Grounding Outside.

If you have just sucked at grounding lately, do the outside version. It’s my favourite anyway. Go outside, breathe in, and crouch down and touch the ground. As in, dig your fingers in the grass and dirt. Or patio. Whatever you got. Imagine your roots going into the earth and being connected to everything you see around you. Doesn’t have to take long. 10 seconds is fine. Straighten up and put your arms in the sky – feel the freedom you have to move upon this earth with the birds and the animals, breathe in the air, and feel how much space and potential there is all around you.

3. Do Everything Quicker.

Still want to set up a meditation practice, even though your focus is currently worse than an ADD puppy? That’s OK. Just do it for a little time. I like to time everything when I get into this funk. Otherwise I will sit there pushing and pushing and pushing and getting more and more annoyed and dissapointed with myself. Do it in shorter bursts, and finish when the timer says. (This month I am totally that ADD puppy.)

4. Get Physical and Move.

I always find that when I haven’t been spending much time exercising my focus gets a bit shot and I find it so much easier to live in my head and so much harder to get in touch with the divine. So a yoga class, or a ten minute yoga session in your living room can seriously help – take it as a time for being present and spiritual devotion. (You can get some awesome free yoga classes at http://www.ekhartyoga.com/) If yoga isn’t your thing, go for a walk, make sure your focus is on looking at stuff and touching stuff rather than on what’s happening in your mind. Be that creepy hippy staring at the stars and groping the trees to see what they feel like. I won’t tell.

5. Make sure you are speaking out loud.

If you usually do quiet reciting-in-your-mind kinda stuff, try speaking out loud. Whispering is OK if you are shy, but the simple act of speaking out loud tells your brain that what you are saying is more REAL.

6.Forgive yourself.

When you get into this mind funk, it’s so easy to get angry at yourself. “Why can’t you focus? What is wrong with me! I could do this last week. I suck at this. I should be better” and on and on and on.

You gotta forgive yourself for not being perfect.

In dance and yoga, we have this concept. Every day on the mat or in the studio is a new day. Some days you are super stretchy and can do splits and all sorts. Other days, that’s just not happening, and you can just about touch your toes. It’s not because you lost the skills or that you are a bad practitioner, it’s because every day is different, every day your body is a little different. It’s stretchier in some places, and tighter than others. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just how it is. It doesn’t mean you give up, or that you push your body further than it can handle today. It means you show your body compassion and say “Aha, so today is not a splits day. Ok. We’ll just do a little bit then and do something else.”

It’s pretty much the same in every area of your life really.

Maybe today is not a focusy meditation week. That’s cool. We can forgive ourselves, and do a little bit, bit we won’t aim for an impossible 40 mins of meditation when your brain keeps singing Let It Go on loop.

Nothing is at a constant – like nature teaches us, it’s cyclical and changeable. Sometimes it’s cloudy, sometimes it’s sunny. It doesn’t mean one is good and the other deserves to be hated and belittled. Self compassion I think is one of the most important things ever in a spiritual practice.


I hope you found this list helpful! If you have any other tips for reconnecting with the divine when you are going through a rough patch spiritually, I would LOVE to hear them! Share them in the comments below.

I am off to go and take my own advice and have a bath!


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