What I think is really interesting about the Celtic wheel of the year is that at the start of the year you jump right into all the hard stuff – death, decay, sorrow and being broken. Mainly death. Samhain is the festival of death after all.
I hang about in graveyards a lot. They are nice and quiet, full of trees and birds, and you will find hardly any living people in there. It’s great. Graveyards are my peaceful places.
A year ago, I lived opposite a beautiful old graveyard, with a folly, lots of beautiful angel statues, and loads of gorgeous trees. It was quiet and it was out of business: no new graves for the few years I’d been visiting there.
My local graveyard today is in a churchyard, and still gets used for people burying. So every now and again when I wonder down there, there will be a new empty grave waiting for it’s occupant.
I’ve never belonged to an active graveyard before. I know graveyards are all about death and that’s why most people find them so creepy, but in an old unused graveyard it doesn’t really get to you. In an active one, you get really aware of your own mortality. There have been a few new graves this year in the graveyard – one was an old man, one was seventeen and the other twenty-six. Their graves are still covered in flowers, bracelets and gifts. I walk past them and say hello whenever I visit.
They make me think: I’m going to die someday too. This doesn’t freak me out, but I leave the graveyard feeling that I should enjoy every moment, live my life as well as I can, and never take those I love for granted.
I think people are wary of graveyards because they are afraid of death and they don’t want to think about it. People want to live young and forever, and (in my experience especially with post-religion atheists) they completely freak out about not knowing what happens and possibly not existing after they die.
Knowing that you only have a certain amount of time on this planet and then an ambiguous future after that really knocks your priorities into place.
If you are really aware that you have a finite time in which to be alive and do stuff, are you really going to waste your life-time in situations that you don’t enjoy and ignore all the wonderful things you want to do instead? I think not.
I have a provisional death date. I got the idea from a book I read – the author said that there would be three possible death ages for each person, and we just have to ask our angels/intuition to get the numbers. This means that you have an end by which to get stuff done by. I’ve got the number 68 running around in my head, so 68 is my provisional death date. That means provisionally I have 45 years to enjoy life and have a great time before I find out what happens next.
Buddhists encourage people to hang out in graveyards so that they can understand the impermanence of life. I think everybody could benefit from understanding a little bit about that.
What a lovely and timely post. I used to be freaked out by graveyards but a couple of years ago I went to find Edward Bach’s grave. He’s the man who discovered flower essences in the 1930’s and is a huge influence on my work. I lay down on the grass next to his grave and it was utterly beautiful.
Lovely post. I have the same feelings as you, churchyards and graveyards are some of the most peaceful places on earth. I very often visit old Yards and love photographing the memorials – beautiful. Enjoy. Katherine
I think acknowledging the impermanence of this life also fosters self-acceptance and challenges us to stop holding back until we feel things are perfect and to enjoy our journey in the present moment instead of falling into the trap of “when then.”
Amen sister!!
I’ve finally reached a point in my life where I’ve started thinking seriously about dying and what might lie beyond that. Even though I firmly believe there’s something after this life, death still scares the crap out of me. There’s so much to do here! There are so many places to see and things to experience and people to know! The mere idea of having to leave at all, much less before I hit an “acceptable” age to die, freaks me out. I’m wrestling with it very hard, and no amount of logic-ing helps. Yet, at the same time, I find I can’t (or won’t) give the concept much energy or attention because I’m so busy with living (such as it may be right now). I hate the feeling that I might be wasting my time building up for the future when there might not be one; by the same token, I can’t just live all crazy thinking I could die tomorrow. It’s difficult for me to think about – I have to come at it sideways. Hopefully, I’ll learn more about it as I get older (again, hopefully).
I know what you mean Ellie. I’ve never really spent huge amounts of time analysing what happens after we die, but leaving where we are now?!? There’s just so much to do, and I haven’t worked out the best way to enjoy it yet. I always feel like I need to learn how to be here in the physical world better so I can really milk the experience. I worry I am not milking it enough – that’s my thing. I think the only thing with future stuff is making sure that we always enjoy our journeys just as much or more than the end result. I hope you find some way to sneakily learn and understand more. When you do, please tell me about it! 😀
Wonderful post.
I too like walking through graveyards. Here in Colorado we have pioneer graveyards up in the mountains that are no longer ‘active’. During the summer months we wander through them, looking at the old stones and feeling the energies. Many of the graveyards have what we like to call ‘guardians’ that watch over the graves and discourage maliciousness. I don’t think about my mortality while I am in the graveyards, I am too focused on those who reside there now and the lives they had. I guess that comes from being a medium of sorts.
Blessings.
What a fabulous post and healthy view of death. I’ve actually always found graveyards quite peaceful, too. They make me feel really open and raw, but in a serene way.
In terms of being aware of the impermanence of life, I really struggle with that! I know I should live my life like I never know when it’s going to end, but it’s really hard to get that to sink into my skull. Maybe that’s the part of me that knows I’m an eternal soul?
I think it’s the part of me that likes wasting time on facebook ;D
HAHAA! More likely. 🙂