Kathy Jones is the founder of the Priestess of Avalon tradition I am training in. I’ve met her a few times: she’s lovely, of course, and always likes to emphasise that with the Priestess of Avalon tradition she has created a basic framework for people to work from and change and adapt – she welcomes change and adaptation to the tradition, and encourages change of rituals, names, etc as things grow stale the years pass, which I think is pretty awesome for a tradition leader.

The learning time we have with Kathy in the training programme is really valuable and informative, and I have learnt a lot. But there is one experience I wanted to share with you guys that really affected me.

At Ostara, I had some spare time so I was chillin’ in the Goddess Temple, reading some books. I picked up Breast Cancer- Hanging On By a Red Thread – Kathy’s book about her journey with cancer, and started reading some of that.

What really touched me about the chapter that I read was her comments on being a spokesperson for the goddess and standing up for Her in the world today.

Kathy Jones, one of the biggest movers and shakers in the UK goddess community, who founded a whole freaking priestess tradition and international Goddess conference, tells us she was terrified all the time to speak out for goddess.

Really, really scared to represent the Goddess in the world.

She felt especially terrified speaking out for Goddess in front of men, as she felt that they automatically would hate her for it and might want to kill her.

I read this, and I cried a bit, as I felt, me too.

I was in awe of this woman who was being so real and raw and honest, sharing a truth I have felt too but been unable to quite pin down. I have been terrified to be present for my spirituality and my love of Goddess in front of men because I am afraid of their reaction: I think they  will be angry at me, dismiss me as a stupid woman, or even get violent towards me. I know that the fear of being in physical danger for what I believe and say is pretty irrational and a bit extreme, and I don’t think either Kathy or myself ever really rationally thought that we’d say “Goddess for the WIN” and some dude would immediately try to kill us for saying that, but I think the point of fears is that they are not rational.

I’ve also been so, so afraid to share my fear with people, and was amazed to learn that I wasn’t the only one to feel this way.

I have also found it so inspiring that Kathy Jones, one of my real-life heros, was terrified of being a representative for Goddess, just like I am a lot of the time. I really feel that if she went through that and emerged where she is today, that there is hope for me too.

PS: If you wanted to read Breast Cancer: Hanging On by a Red Thread by Kathy Jones, you can buy it from the Goddess Temple here