Photo by Nicholas A. Tonelli https://www.flickr.com/photos/nicholas_t/ Sexy landscape photo by Nicholas A. Tonelli https://www.flickr.com/photos/nicholas_t/%5B/caption%5D

Vulnerability! This is something I have been struggling with a lot.

The established and, I guess, normal way of running a blog is that the blog writer is the Expert and the readers are the Students. The sexy cool expert goes “blah blah blah I know all about this stuff blah” and student goes “aaaah I learn much, you know more than me”. The blog writer has to create this aura of expertishness to justify rabbiting on about their topic all the time I suppose. At least this is what I gather from reading loads of stuff about blog writing.

I don’t like it. Every now and then I get sucked into the “I must be an expert! People must think I Know Stuff!” hole, I get writer stunned and I can’t write anything. At all. For months. I get stunted in my spiritual practice, thinking of all the things I should be but am not quite yet.

I don’t want to be an expert on a blog: I just want to share stuff and talk about the stuff I like without worrying if I am being “expert” enough. It’s funny how we start out with a passion then start messing it up for ourselves so it’s not fun or nourishing any more.

I’ve been working with my dear friend Kris Oster’s fabulous Unbound program, which is all about bringing pleasure into your working life, and I have realised that a lot of what I am about is being open and vulnerable and honest – sharing my truth and experience, even though it feels a bit (errr a LOT) naked and exposed sometimes. I love to learn through other people’s stories and I personally learn things and connect best with peeps who are willing to be vulnerable and share their real-life personal and spiritual experiences, and I want to be like that. And if I am trying to make people think I am some high muckety-muck goddess priestess expert, that’s not going to be able to happen. I am not going to be able to share my journey with you. I am not going to be able to share all the smart stuff I learn from fucking stuff up either (how I learn a lot of stuff it seems).

That’s no good!

So here is who I am.

I am Demi, and I love Goddess and the God and spirituality and mermaids and reading everything. I seriously identify with the word Priestess, and a lot of my own personal spiritual shenanigans is about uncovering, learning more about, and discovering how to embody that archetype.

I am a sacred seeker, learning more endlessly about myself and about Goddess. Sometimes I fall out of love with spirituality and I can’t face it for a while. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with my spiritual longing and ambitions that I have no idea what to do or where to go. Sometimes I am talking to the Goddess all day every day and life is amazing and flows beautifully. Sometimes I don’t do that. Sometimes my resistance to getting down and doing spiritual work is overpowering. Sometimes my desire for knowledge and connection is so intense that you can’t pry that book out of my hands or get me back in the house.

I know that spirituality, the Goddess and the journey to be a Priestess is always going to be with me for all of my life. But I am not perfect. I am perfectly imperfect, just like you, and a student of the divine, just like you.

I don’t know everything there is to know about everything Goddess ever, but I want to have fun learning as much as I can, and sharing the stuff I learn with you guys.