My journey with the crone these past few weeks has been a little bit epic.

First of, I have never felt the Goddess around me and supporting me so strongly. Usually, it’s just when I actively tune into her and take some time out to connect that I feel her presence. But this season I’ve just felt her around so often, especially overwhelmingly whenever I am outside. I have experienced so much synchronisity, seen and experienced answers to my prayers and experienced huge turn arounds in my life – I am completely amazed, surprised and in wonderment, and I have a level of faith in my, well, faith that I have never experienced before.

The Crone is blunt and to the point – she heals stuff with what is actually needed, not what will make us feel better.

This season she’s truly given me the smackdown, taking me all the way to rock bottom.

I totally ran out of money. As in, down to my last £30. I am fully self employed, and I haven’t being taking care of my self employed business the way I should – putting myself out there really terrifies me, so I’ve just been doing the minimum to get by so I can avoid my fears. This season did not start well, and it just escalated to a really rocky financial situation.

I know it’s the Crone Goddess. She takes you to the place you need to be where you can truly see that you HAVE to change. And she’ll tell you why she is doing it too. (Cos you need a kick up the arse! Were her words.)

So I did freak out, and then very sensibly did a small ceremony to connect with the Crone and ask her help to get out of this. Since then, so much has changed. Opportunities to earn money just keep popping up – thirty quid here, fourty there. I I’m given unasked for ideas and advice from others that really helps me. Wonderful experiences are offered to me for free – I will be going to the ballet for free in a week’s time to see Swan Lake, Matthew Bourne style (a dream come true!), and this Friday I have a freaking awesome free class to go to. People have been helping me out to find money and income, and being incredibly generous.

On top of this, since I spoke to the Crone, I have been getting up early every morning (something that never ever happens) and I have been outrageously happy and full of hope almost every single day, despite all the stuff that’s happening. I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude for the Crone, all the opportunities she is bringing me and for all the people in my life that I tear up a little when I think of it. I am so incredibly thankful for my partner Superman, who is supporting me and loving me through all this stuff, and who is looking after me while I am in the financial horror zone. I really am so very very lucky.

(And this is all completely honest and not in a I-should-try-and-feel-grateful-and-good-cos-it’s-the-new-age-way-to-escape-the-crap kinda way. It’s all very genuine and unusual for me.)

So that is my own personal journey with the Crone this Samhain. Of course I am still moving through it, and I still have moments of blind terror, but I can pull myself out of them now and know that as long as I keep up my side of the deal and keep working hard, the Crone is going to help me through it and it’s all going to be all OK.