Who gets to claim the title of Priestess?

I’ve been thinking a lot about who gets to call themselves a priestess.

In established religions the priests (there are no priestesses) have to train at a seminary and do a lot of serious theologic book study. They train in a school, get sent off on work experience and then set free into the world to do their clearly-defined and financially supported work for an institution that works as their boss. 

It’s in Traditional Witchcraft and Wicca you become a Priestess by participating in the degree system, studying hard to rise through the ranks, learning the tradition and picking up some strong magical and organisational skills along the way. The title of Priestess is conferred on you by your elders in the tradition when they deem you are ready. 

But for us in Goddess Spirituality it’s different. We don’t have a centralised training body and our traditions are all over the place – it’s big part of our appeal because it means there is something for everybody. Our practices are so diverse that often the only things that tie them together are a love for Goddess, a devotion to the Divine and an adoration of Mother Earth.

So for us, is it also only women who participate in a formal Priestess  Training Programme who get to call themselves priestess?

How do we determine the set training that a Priestess has to go through to be “trained enough” – and how do we vet the programmes and decide which ones make “real” priestesses and which ones are just five day holidays in sacred sites?

It’s a conundrum for sure…. but I feel the answer doesn’t lie in completing this training system or that training system. It doesn’t lie in some important fancy person telling us we passed the test, or we have done enough, or that we are now worthy to take this title on.

I believe that the most important thing we have to do to be a priestess is to choose to claim it for ourselves. No-one else can initiate us but ourselves and Goddess. 

A priestess is born when a woman when she puts her hand on her heart and claims “This is what I am” with full heart-presence and commitment. 

She self-initiates – it’s the only way.

She hears the call to priestesshood from her Goddess, and she chooses to formally step up and take a stand for her Goddess in the world by claiming herself as Priestess. 

The thing is, Priestessing is a lot about personal power, and that’s why you have to self-initiate – you have to decide for yourself. You have to choose it. 

As a Priestess no-one else quite has the authority to tell you what you are, because they can’t – and I know. I have taken a bunch of Priestess training programmes and even then the initiations in them, though nice, were not what made me feel worthy as a Priestess. 

Validation is a hungry mistress – she will never be fully fed. 

You cannot hope someone else will give you your power for you – you have to be bold and courageous enough to take it yourself. Priestessing is hugely about power and trust, both in ourselves and in the Divine, and no-one else can do that for us.  

It is that confidence and conviction that makes a priestess. 

I often think of what my priestess mentor Katinka Soetens said to me once: “Anyone can be a priestess. Fuck, darling, you can just wake up in the morning and decide that you are a priestess and do nothing else and that’s that! And that’s great! We need more priestesses!” 

(Imagine that said in a very fabulous dutch accent and you got it.)

I used to be scared to tell people this – that everyone can claim the title of Priestess if they feel it – because if I am being honest there was a big part of me that was clinging onto the specialness of the title. 

But no! a petulant part of me cried. I have struggled and sacrificed and put so much into this, it’s not fair! It has to be hard otherwise my work is meaningless – If everyone can do it, I’m not special any more – all my work to prove myself means nothing!

It’s very human to want what you have done to mean something, and to be afraid that you are not good enough. I see the part of me that feels that way – the feeling that no matter what I do I am not good enough, so there needs to be a bigger barrier to entry to protect me and make me feel like I am safe and allowed.

It’s very patriarchal to think that Special means Better Than and to buy into the myth of competition. Priestesses are not in competition to prove who is the bestest and the greatest – we are all on the same team following our individual missions. 

Katinka is right. 

Anyone can claim the title Priestess and call themselves that. 

Anyone. 

I think the thing to remember about claiming yourself as a priestess is that it’s an initiation – it’s the start of the journey. It’s the first step into the enchanted forest. 

You have the whole adventure ahead of you to figure out what it means to be a priestess, how to grow into who you are meant to be as Her priestess, what you are meant to do in Her service, and how you are supposed to expand. 

You have alllll that time and adventure to expand your understanding and unconsciously up your priestess vibes and step into the true heart being of a Priestess

Claiming it is just the beginning – then you get to learn to live it.

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