Something that surprises many folk that there is so much sister wounding in the Goddess community. It’s the skeleton in the closet of Goddess world – hidden at first glance, but it’s secretly there. 

So what is a sister wound? 

A sister wound is something that causes women to view other women as their enemies and prevents them from forming close connections with other women. 

This can show up in our lives in simple ways – believing that other women are not trustworthy, or have too much drama, or are not safe. 

It can look like falling into patterns of jealousy or competition with other women who are doing similar things to you or are doing what you would like to do. It can look like women stealing from others and passing off stolen work as their own, or attacking and bullying people who stand out. 

This hidden shadow of sister wounding in the goddess community often manifests as an us-vs-them cliquey mentality – anyone who is not in this group is bad. It shows up as folk believing they are being victimised by other groups or people, and lashing out. 

These sister wounds rip apart communities and create so very much hurt. 

We don’t want to think this happens in the Goddess community. 

We want to believe that the Goddess Community is all about sisterhood and love and friendship, and since we are all about Goddess we are immune to theses sister wounds. 

We come here because we are craving a sisterhood and are overjoyed that such a thing actually exists. 

But nope. It’s here. 

I’ve been on the receiving end of it, and at times I have been the perpetrator of it. 

I’ve seen it in the lives of my friends, excluded from certain venues because they are from the “wrong” group, had their projects actively sabotaged, slandered or copied by people who were supposed to be a part of the supporting community.  

I’ve heard about it from clients – folk who have been bullied for daring to put on an event, kicked out of goddess festivals cos of their day job, all sorts. 

It’s Horrible. 

And in a way it’s supposed to be here. 

By walking the path of the Goddess we have unconsciously invoked these sister wounds to be revealed so we can heal them. 

You can’t truly embody the path of the goddess if you are locked in an unconscious wounding pattern and lashing out at anyone who dares do something you disagree with – this is part of learning how to be in sisterhood with others. 

But this wound doesn’t magically heal itself, and we can’t just skip over the inner world that needs to be done to create these real loving trusting communities. 

To heal this we have to be willing to face our own shadow and see what we have this awful venomous wounding living and acting through us….

… and that’s a lot. That’s a huge challenge to the ego, and many folk are not yet willing to see themselves as the perpetrator. It’s excruciatingly uncomfortable work, it sucks and not everyone wants to do it. 

A lot of folk want spirituality to be easy and are in the fantasy that it should only bring them loveliness and joy, and are not interested in the deeper challenge.

But it’s the only way to eradicate these patterns in the community. 

Why do we have these issues to begin with? 

I believe it’s part of the massive cultural hangover from centuries, if not millennia of oppression and systemic isolation of women. Women were encouraged to mistrust one another, see each other as competition and were rewarded for turning on one another.  

We see this in Morgan leFay’s stories in her contentious relationship with Queen Guinevere. The two most powerful women in England HATE each other for no real reason other than women are supposed to see each other as a threat.  

We see this in the Salem Witchtrials, where a whole community just turned on each other and ripped each other to shreds. 

And here in the 21st century, we are still learning how to navigate this. This hangover has really messed up our ability to honestly communicate and leaves us in our own minds, making up assumptions and believing the worst. 

We are also still learning how to manage and experience power, and it’s very easy to fall into old hierarchical and abusive power models that our fear-self thinks we need and our ego-self likes the look of ourselves in. 

It’s a lot standing up for Goddess in the world, and it takes a lot of bravery to so this work. I think it often evokes our deepest fears of scarcity, not being safe and not being enough, and these fears makes us rigid, defensive and inflexible.

Totally understandable… and the challenge is to really work through this and transform these sisters wounds for the world. 

What’s the future for us?

I really truly see this sister wounding in the goddess community beginning to shift and heal. There are so many of us committed to doing the work to transmute this and so much more openness and guidance as to how to do this in our personal lives. 

We can’t pretend it won’t always be there – it will, because people are people and they are going to have their wounds and unconscious patterns. Remember, most folk have absolutely no idea that they are acting from a place of sister wounding. They have no idea they are doing this – they think they are blameless. 

But when we have shadow work as a part of every priestess training curriculum, as an easily accessible part of every community – when our leaders can hold their own shadows and failings with love and commit to humbly and honestly changing without hiding or trying to hold themselves up to some kind of perfect holy standard, things will shift. 

I believe our community leaders really hold the opportunity to show a new way of being in the world – and so many of them are. I love them for it. 

We can heal this within us, and in doing so make it easier for the generations after us to heal it within themselves too. 

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